Under Siege

I am currently under some sort of evil birdie siege. Remember when I told you about letting my cats on my back patio in order to keep some birds from nest back there? My thought process being what bird would want to make a next where two big cats are hanging out. Right. These birds are thumbing their beaks at my cats and are really really starting to tick me off.

Here is why I hate these extremely persistant freaks of nature, er, birds.

They are loud.

Their “chirping” is NOT PRETTY…it sounds like metal on a chalkboard. Like Edward Scissorhands is dragging his long metal finger things down a chalkboard. Got that mental image?! Ok, now imagine it early early in the morning continuing ALL stinking day.

They do not appear to be making their nest out of sticks like normal birds, nope. It looks like their nest is eitherbeing made out of mud from the nearby lake…or from their own bodily functions. Either way, it is going to be a PAIN in the rear-end to scrap off the side of my house.

They are extremely persistent.

They WILL NOT GO AWAY.

Every day for at least the past 4 days, my life has revolved around hearing them (because they make their evil noises EVERY time they land on their chosen spot), letting the cats outside to “intimidate” them, having the small winged devils fly away, my cats losing interest and wandering out into the yard, me wrangling the cats back to the patio because if the cats aren’t on the patio there is nothing for the loud chirpers to be afraid of. Then going back inside after about 10 minutes of no bird activity.

Repeat the above every 20 to 30 minutes.

I got so desperate yesterday that I took used litter from the litterbox and sprinkled some up where they were trying to nest and strategically placed a piece of poo up there. The logic was that they wouldn’t want to nest where their enemy was emptying its bowels.

Logical creatures these birds are not.

So this morning, I sprayed Clorox Sanitizing Spray up there. The logic was that maybe I could remove their scent and replace it with pure human scent. (I chose that spray because as much as I’m considering driving to Wal-Mart to buy a bebe gun, I really don’t want to hurt them. And if you can spray that stuff near a kid, it couldn’t be so bad for the stupid birds. )

I’m now thinking that maybe birds can’t smell??

Or maybe they think I am their new maid?

Or that I felt bad for putting the litter up there and I’m just cleaning up from yesterday?

I don’t know.

I do know that they are still coming every 10 to 20 minutes and they haven't gotten the clue that that THEY AREN’T WANTED.

For my next step, I am debating either writing them a letter telling them how their actions make me feel? Or taking a lil' drive to Wal-Mart to show them how their actions are making me feel.

Whattaya think?