Villainess or Heroine? I can't decide

Maybe I’ve watched too many Disney movies. Or maybe I’m experiencing some twisted version of the Stockholm syndrome (you know where kidnap victims start to identify with their captors). But lately I’ve started to really admire the Barn Swallows persistence and determination (plus I think they are pretty). It’s gotten to the point that whenever I think about this battle for my back porch, I keep envisioning myself not as the heroine trying to reclaim her home from the eveel invaders but instead as this horrible Cruella de Ville type woman. (Well, except I don’t want to steal their young and make them into a coat. Perhaps in a Disney movie I’d be portrayed more as the dude that stole Nemo. Or that creepy kid in Toy Story.)

In the Disney version, I’m the woman that won’t let the pretty little birdies build their nest in a safe place away from all the scary predators that want to eat their offspring.

Bleh. I don’t want to be that person. But I also don’t want nasty feces and bugs and grossness all over my porch. Plus, these guys will totally attack once they have eggs in their nest. Which in the Disney movie would be this heroic battle scene where the birds are protecting their young. But in real life, is just plain unpleasant.

Oh, wait….I don’t think I ever told you all about whether or not their nest had eggs in it that one day. Thankfully the nest was egg free and now ever other day or so we (and by we, I mean Kevin) spray down their nesting attempts before they get to the egg laying.

But they keep coming back.

Day after day after day after day.

All they want to do is provide a good safe home for their future screeching offspring. And I can’t fault them for that. They are just being good parents, right? (Ugh, see! I am totally starting to relate to them!!)

Because of this crazy overactive imagination of mine, I keep having to remind myself that this is NOT a Disney movie. This is real life where animals don't talk or have feelings or any of the human characteristics that the entertainment industry gives them.

Also, I am paying rent for that porch and THEY ARE NOT. If they want to pay me for the usage of my porch (and maid service for cleaning up after their messy lil selves), well, maybe we could works something out. Until then, we will continue in the battle for the back porch.

I can say, however, that I do not desire to shoot them with a bebe gun anymore. I’ve decided that would not play well in the Disney version of my life. It would put me up there with the dude that killed Bambi’s mom. And that’s just not cool.