Sweatpants vs Being Creative

It has been a long long time since I have blogged. I just haven't had it in me. I go to work and communicate with people all day long. I put on a happy face and outgoing persona and solve all their problems. I expend sooo much energy throughout my day just being nice to people that when I get home I don't have much left in me.

This is unfortunate because I really really want to be creative when I get home. I want to have something to show for my evenings. During my down time at work, I look out the window and I think about all of the things I want to do that night. I daydream of all of the projects that I will accomplish in the 4-5 hours before bed.

Blogging! Sewing! Painting! Getting rock hard abs!!

I compose blog posts in my head. I might even take some photos.

I think and plan out what I want to sew and where I will put it or who I'll give it to.

I sketch out what I want to paint.

I visualize myself doing crunches while Kevin and I watch our shows that night.

Man, oh, man! It will be a great evening.

And then I drive home.

Go to the gym (30-45 minutes of cardio).

Come home and eat some sort of food (sometimes it's an actual meal and sometimes just a substantial snack).

Then I make the mistake of sitting down. And once I sit down, I don't want to get up again. I try to motivate myself by thinking of all of the things I wanted to work on that night. I might even look at the list of things I wrote down just precisely for that reason...to help me be inspired to push through and git 'r done.

But it doesn't really motivate me. It just makes me think that the afternoon Me is a very ambitious idealistic person with a poor grasp on reality because the evening Me just wants her sweatpants, a glass of wine and the remote control.

Not surprisingly, 4 out of 5 nights the evening Me wins. That is why my poor lil' blog sits stagnant for weeks.

Fooey.

I hate that kind of life. I want to be better. More purposeful. Mind over matter and all that.

I think this week I will set aside some dreaming time to dream up an evening schedule. I don't want to just exist through this time in my life. I want to have something to show for it. I want to live with purpose and meaning (and still find time for my sweats and wine!).

I'll be back tomorrow with what I come up with.