Gonna drive me to drinking.

D@MN BIRDS.

Ok.

Now that it is out of the way and hopefully I can get through this post without any more expletives.

The week before we left for Boise, Kevin had to go on a couple quick business trips and he wasn’t around to get the bird situation under control before we left. I didn’t know what I expected him to do but I expected him to do SOMETHING. I went to sleep the night before we left very unhappy.

Consequently, I woke up very unhappy. Those freaking birds were going to win. They were going to take over my patio without any sort of hindrance at all. ARGH. That made me mad. So, um…at 6 in the morning poor bleary eyed Kevin stumbled out to our patio armed with a staple gun and cardboard to do this.

I’m sure our neighbors were oh, so very pleased with our 6 am staple gun salute. But, whatever, their dogs bark. A lot.

I wasn’t brimming over with hope that it would work….but at least we had made an effort. We had done something. We showed them that we weren’t going to go down without a fight. Take that birds! We stapled cardboard to the side of our house….what you gonna do about that that, huh?!

They did this.

D@MN BIRDS.

They sit there and they mock our attempts to thwart them . (And yes, we have a ceiling fan on our patio.)

Tonight, when Kevin gets home he is going to prove his love for me by risking death by barn swallow to see if they have laid any eggs in their nest and if they haven’t then he’s gonna do something about that nest. Yes, he is. And if they have. ARGH. I will be SO SO SO annoyed. And then I will wait until their noisy, messy, screeching babies have hatched and left. THEN I will contract some mafia hit pigeons to take out the parents so they don’t come back next year.

Because everyone knows that pigeons are the seedy crime lords of the bird world. Duh.