Squish and Flick

Last night was a weird night. I’m not always the deepest of sleepers but last night I had a little bit of “help” with the lack of deep sleep. See, my insane cats think that 3 am is a perfectly acceptable time to do timed laps around my house and then walk around meowing LOUDLY for no apparent reason. Let's just say, I really wanted a squirt gun last night.

Anyhow,I’m pretty sure that’s the reason that even though I was mostly asleep I was able to feel my hair tickle my neck last night. Only when I went to move my hair, it wasn’t really my hair. It was something small and insectish crawling on me.

Yes….. CRAWLING ON ME!!!!

So what did I do? Oh, I squished it and flicked it and then rolled over and went back to my semi-sleep hoping it didn’t have cousins somewhere.

I know! I am apparently VERY calm in my state of mostly being asleep. Who knew?! Because we all know that if I were fully awake there would have been no calm squishing and flicking. Nope there would have been squeeking and hopping and stomping and much shaking of every limb to make sure there weren’t MORE anywhere and then a full change of clothes would have been required. Along with a quick call to 1.800.therapynow.

So in case you ever have a crisis and need me to help you in anyway….please make sure to do it smack dab in the middle of the night. Otherwise, I will be useless to you.

Now that it's morning and I'm fully awake and thinking about my late night creepy crawly visitor, the more I think that his visit was less random and more deliberate revenge. Yes...revenge. Because yesterday I did a very very thorough washing of my porch and in the process many bugs lost their homes and lives. And in my version of the animal world that deed could not go unpunished. So obviously the Bug Mafia sent some punks to intimidate me but they underestimated the calm that I am when mostly asleep and thus I thwarted their evil plans.

Muauauauauahahahhahaha.

*Sigh*

Sorry....This is the kind of post you get when I don’t get a lot of good sleep the night before.

But!! Hey! I have pictures of my porch.

It was so gross but I forgot to take a before picture so I left one wall to do today but I scrubbed one panel in the middle so you could fully understand the years of grime I cleaned.

See...Lookee!










Ta DAAA! So pretty!

Let's just hope that the buggies start to appreciate the porch's new state of cleanliness and don't escalate the retaliation.